If you’re contemplating marriage, it’s time for a serious talk with your intended mate. Planning a life together involves more than arranging a wedding and booking a honeymoon. There are serious issues that could derail your marriage if you don’t have a good understanding beforehand. Married life will go more smoothly for both of you if you discuss these issues.
Getting married usually means pooling your finances—and your debts. That’s why it’s essential that you are completely honest and open about your current financial state before saying “I do.” Put the numbers on the table and discuss your spending and savings needs in the present and the future.
It’s natural that you will have disagreements about money, but you can lessen the impact if you talk about some high-ticket expenses you might be planning in the future, such as buying a house or going back to college. Discuss your tolerance for risk and debt and be honest about spending habits.
As you contemplate the future in the long-term, you should talk about whether you will choose to have children, and if so, when. Be honest but open-minded; you might not have thought about becoming a parent in much depth before.
If you decide to put off parenthood until later, or if you decide against having children, you should have a reliable birth control plan. There are many choices available for both women and men. For reliable prevention, women will often choose hormonal birth control such as implants, shots, or pills. For men, the choices are limited, but vasectomies are the most reliable. Vasectomies are nearly 100% successful at preventing pregnancy compared to other methods.
A common source of tension in a marriage is relationships with in-laws. Even if you’ve already become acquainted with your partner’s family, you may find that expectations change after marriage. The simplest decisions, such as where to spend holidays, can often cause unpleasant conflicts.
The most beneficial thing you can do is talk about setting boundaries regarding what actions are acceptable, both from your in-laws and each other. Common problems include unannounced visits, unsolicited advice, and criticism of family members.
If you plan to share your life with the one you love, you should open the lines of communication about difficult topics. Talking will help you prevent problems from cropping up and resolve them easier.
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